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The Responsibility to Fit In

This late noon I am thinking about to quit when I am supposed to go to the weekly meeting conducted by a sort of religious youth organization. Why is that happen? Nor because my faith level has decreased (I hope so) or because of someone bothering me, but because of myself that can't seem to fit in there or whenever. I do have a problem with my introvert life. I find it difficult to trust people, not even 1 single human being, Gosh. I do try to make friends by pushing myself to join other communities/organizations, but no matter how hard I tried, I still can't fit in anywhere.   Not just in this case, but also in many situations, I'm sick to pretend that I love to hear their story about their stupid-love-relationship with someone that I don't even know or care, or the girls talk about boys and the ultimate chit-chat mission regarding 'how to get boys 101'. I am not trying to be naive here, I do want to get a man that I can make my life complete but I don...
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1.00 AM

Hi! So I ended up here. 1.00 AM. Alone and wide awake, while I have a super-boring job the next morning. Why I ended up here again? Well, I think I just want to escape here and most importantly I deeply madly truly want to kill my thoughts. I'm now 22 years old and will turn 23 this year. It's crazy isn't? My mind is about to explode lately. Basically worrying about the future, trying to figure it out what I want to be when I grew up while I keep growing up is a frustrating task. Before I became older and older and die, I aim to know myself better. I would like to spend my time here just to talk to myself, drowning in my own my mind and secretly daydreaming myself in another region of this world, doing something that I never bored of. Well, that will be a very long story. Time to sleep. Goodbye for now.
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